I Want My Kids to Lose.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the boys’ futures. Because I’m a mother. Between chores, while I cook, when I watch certain shows and pray, sweet baby Jesus, do NOT let my boys turn out like THAT… It's overwhelming at times. You look at all the faces on the news and thing "That could be one of mine some day...".

This is a topic that constantly goes through my head because it’s so very important to me that my children can become self-relying young adults who will turn into independent individuals. Mostly because mama wants her own office and craft rooms, but also maybe just a little bit because I love my children and want nothing more than to see them succeed and be happy with their lives. Before you go telling me I'm some kind of mama bird Nazi, waiting to seize any opportunity to essentially push my young 'uns from the nest, just hear me out.

I don't want to raise my boys to think they're always winners. I refuse to go along with the popular idea that there are no losing teams; that everyone is a winner because "if you play, you win". I want my children to recognize failure and to strive for more than mediocrity. I don't want them to be rewarded for giving anything less than their most, hardest, or best. I want them to come home crying after they lose by one run in the last inning or fumble the football on the winning play. I want them to know and really understand failure so that they can rise above it. I can't stand how society teaches our children that everyone wins now. I feel like that produces serious superiority complexes and feelings of entitlement where there absolutely should not be. Does that give those who are too meek or those lacking the self confidence a needed boost? Sure. But is there sincerely no other way to go about raising ones confidence without blowing it up?

The undeniable truth about trophies is that they're no longer special, or hold any real significance, when every team or person gets one.  That quite literally negates the entire definition of a trophy, which is defined as " a cup or other decorative object awarded as a prize for victory or success". There is such a thing as a personal best, a personal victory, but if you're going to be honest with yourself, that's just the first step on a slippery slope. I personally believe that it just kills the motivation to be a better player, a better teammate, hell- a better person. It tells the kids that DO work harder than the rest that they get no recognition for the time they've put their blood, sweat, and tears into. They are seen as equally valuable as those who put forth minimal effort, and I can't get behind that. If I have to be the parent who has to step up at the little league awards banquet and say "No, my son didn't earn this" I totally will. I want to be hard on my kids. Failure is inevitable; it very much exists in the real world, in little league, in literally anything. If we teach our children that everyone is a winner, we only set them up for failure. Will tender feelings be stepped on? Absolutely. But I don't see this as a bad thing, I see it as a way to separate those who truly want to earn a reward for their dedication from those who merely want a trophy to show off years down the road, still living with their parents. "Well at least I've got trophies. I've done something with my life...". (Have you? Have you, really, though?) 

I love and respect my boys, and that's why I'm going to raise them this way.  If A&B want trophies, they better run fast, throw long, and hit hard. Period. If you don't agree, sorry- not sorry. This isn’t tough love, this is me wholly loving my boys and wanting the best for them. You should want to send children out into the real world with real knowledge of how it works, not shelter them so much that going to college/going out on their own is essentially a culture shock. Okay, my rant session has concluded. 

Now that I have certainly offended some individuals, let's ease the butthurt here. If you want to leave a nasty/super awesome comment, go ahead and turn that comment into a donation here and do something amazing for someone who needs it.

Actually, even if you decide not to donate, I am still interested what are your opinions on how you handle winning vs. losing? How will you raise, or how have you already raised, your littles in regards to this subject? Are you a nurture or a nature type of parent?