Doing It Ourselves

Alright y’all. I feel off the wagon for a couple of days, babysitting and hosting a get together in our house. I’m going to rant on my beautiful, fixer-upper of an abode today. She’s got spunk, she’s got character, but most importantly she’s got a TON of potential. When I first saw the pictures of this short sale house while living in Texas, I knew it would be “The One”. Long story super short, it ALMOST DIDN’T HAPPEN. But happen it did. Thankful I am.

Okay, let me try and remember my long, long, looooooong list of the many things utterly wrong with this house. Brace yourself. Grab lunch or something, this is a lengthy one.  I’ll try to dig up some old pictures later to give you a visual of the complete massacre of a house we were about to walk into, sight unseen (in person, anyway. But do you ever really trust internet pictures? Consensus says 97% of you who most likely have dated online just said NO). Side note: this house is MY baby. I have put all the work into painting anything in the house, currently. The yard is more my husband's project, but I'm slowly taking that over too.

Let me start with this golden nugget of wisdom; when you make EVERY wall and accent wall, it is no longer an accent wall. You are just an indecisive bag of douche who looks like an eccentric, colorblind poster child for ADHD. Our bottom floor had 7 colors alone and the second floor had 6. I mean, there was a wall in the kitchen that was painted entirely black- no, it wasn’t chalkboard paint-, including the light switches and switch plates. Why? WHY? Were they summoning demons from the 7^th level of Hell (to be their interior designers and landscapers)? 

Before-

During-

 

After 4 coats of primer-

The rest of the kitchen/living room, save for one dark grey wall where the TV is now located, was – I kid you not- a poop green. That is the only adequate description. It wasn’t a hunter green, this was the kind of green you dread finding in a diaper. And it was the most widely used color, like they were so proud that they made THIS choice.

Some before's of the gag-worthy green-

After's with the BM Revere Pewter over the original green-



I cannot even begin to explain how drastically the color update changed literally everything. It completely transformed the space as well as made the entire downstairs less depressing.

The kitchen is a somewhat open plan with a breakfast bar and tons of cabinet space. The cabinets are still in serious need of a good burning painting but that can wait for a bit. The “wood”, we’ll call it, has a ton of nicks and dents that mostly just make it look insanely dirty. Take care of your cabinets!  The countertop also has chunks missing and the underlying plywood is visible in certain spots if you happen to take a close look. Everything is builder grade and has suffered greatly at the careless hands of the previous owners (rumored by our neighbors to be a couple, their 5 children, and no less than 4 dogs…WHOA). The living room has only a minor area on the laminate wood flooring that needs repaired, but it happens to be right near where we are looking to build an electric fireplace and surround so we’ll wait on any repairs. The sliding door to the backyard has some funky between-the-glass mildew going on so we have been talking some solutions; the best of which is hiring contractors to remove it and install a nice set of French doors to help with energy efficiency as well as maximize the security, since sliding glass doors are the easiest to break into. I can’t say I’d be sad to see the chunk of wood used as a failsafe lock go into our fire pit.

The entryway and front hall were a cream/beige color. Very blah; a first in this house!

The formal dining room wasn’t terribly offensive. A retina-burning teal, complete with hand stenciled dandelions blowing across one corner, when paired with the beautiful picture frame wainscoting, made you question every life choice these people had ever made but you know, not terribly offensive. To put your mind at ease now, it was the first project tackled. I’ll divulge the details in a bit, but I just knew you couldn’t even right now. It’s ok. This is becoming a beautiful room already. Trust.

Before-

That teal/blue right next to that hideous green was something I wish I had never seen.

During-

 



Update: she's slowly coming along in her change from teenage dining room into a blossoming, tasteful young dining room. Would you agree?

Everyone, meet Needy.
 

Downstairs bathroom was a glossy, super light grey with cheap, marbled, light and dark brown tiles. Again, with the questioning of the life choices and what have you.
 

The stairwell needs some loving since this is where the carpet begins. It boasts a high ceiling, so I’m going to have to hire someone to paint about 5 walls. The wood handrails are terribly outdated, even for being built in 2010. The carpet…ugh. Did I mention they had at least 4 dogs? Here’s the best description I can muster: when we first stepped foot in this house it smelled like a local pound. The stench of dog urine was so overwhelming I nearly gagged on it. What’s worse is that it was emanating from a single room upstairs with the word “Princess” stenciled in blush pink across the door. What kind of princess sleeps in a pee-soaked bedroom? More importantly, what kind of parents would make their child sleep in a room like that? How could any human be breathe through all that ammonia? Okay, I’m getting sidetracked. The Princess room has two colors of light purple on the walls and a massive walk in closet, complete with wall scribbles and stickers galore. Typical. After a weekly carpet cleaning and routine Pet Fresh carpet powder vacuum sessions, the odor is finally subsiding (only took 7 months, y’all). This room became the play room. Second largest room in the house meant best chance for mostly contained messes. Obviously. We have been toying with the idea of putting a sofa sleeper in here to accommodate more guests.

The boys’ room had no ceiling fan, which my wonderful husband later installed himself, and a forgettable green color with another, equally forgettable color boldly striped around the perimeter of the room. A medium sized closet with no lighting, but ample room to store all the boys' clothes plus some toys.

The guest bedroom doubles as the office, with the bottom floor’s light and dark shades of grey on two walls each. I call this room my perch, since I can literally be THE biggest creep ever and survey all the goings on of our road, undetected. The guest bathroom doubles as the boys’ bathroom, so I need to get creative with the narrow, limited space it’s got going on in there. Shelves will be my best friend.

 

 

And the master bedroom/bath combo? The first thing I ever saw when I walked in was sex swing hook, hanging from the ceiling. Undeniably, 100% positive that this is what this thing was used for. The ceiling has a lovely recess in the middle, one set of double windows, and the master bath needs some TLC. The shower is small with a micro-wall dividing the shower and bath tub. The bathroom is secluded with its own door. This is a wonderful thing for my husband and I, who prefer to keep a little mystery in our marriage. Potty time is alone time. This is a reverent act, in our house, and one not to be shared with spouses, cats, and children alike. When you do it, you do it alone. Amen.

 Now, the updates we’ve I’ve made thus far are opting for a much lighter color on the first floor- I went with Benjamin Moore's Revere Pewter because you just can’t beat a greige, honey.  I nearly swore off accent walls after being traumatized with the initial walkthrough of the house, but slowly came around. I ended up with a deep, navy blue- Benjamin Moore's Old Navy. I should be painting our dark grey wall in the living room this color very soon. (While the husband's away, the lady will play work her freaking butt off.) This is the same color I have recently painted our tiny half bath downstairs, which might need some lighter colors to brighten it up since it has absolutely zero natural light.

 

Since I’m on a huge coral kick lately, I tested a few shades in the laundry room and ended up choosing- surprise!-Benjamin Moore's Coral Reef . Beautiful and light, just a subtle orange tint away from pink.
Another update: I painted the laundry room the day before my beautiful new hard-earned washer and dryer was installed so feast your eyes...

Before-

After-



Navy blue, coral, and greige go together rather perfectly, if you’re wondering. Also, the whole house does have a nice crown molding along the floor in every room, but none on top aside from the formal dining room. Right now, I’m getting motivated to finishing the painting and then zeroing in on the kitchen updates. I want to paint the cabinets white, update the countertop to a super light butcher block countertop and put in this gorgeous, single basin, granite composite sink I’ve had my heart set on when I saw it at Lowes. I’m considering a white marble herringbone backsplash as well, to bring a little more light to the room. I hope to keep you up to date on the progress as we make it!