You've Got a Friend in Me

Y’all, it’s that time. I knew this day was coming when I met him but, you know, denial is a hell of a thing. I don’t know that there is really anything that can truly prepare you for a first deployment as a spouse. So far, I’ve tried pretending it wasn’t just around the corner and it’s worked perfectly until now. Now I lie awake at night just touching him while trying to memorize how he feels and smells. I’m having nightmares- some relevant, some not- and waking up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath.  

However, one thing that HAS helped me, personally, is the wonderful network I’ve surrounded myself with in a mostly online community of fellow spouses. Instagram (stifle those laughs now) has kept me in touch with a solid group of ladies who keep my expectations on a realistic level but also keep the hope in my heart. They’ve always understood where I am in my life because they are there, have been there before, or will be there very shortly.  These are the people I’ll turn to when I know I can’t ask my mom or dad to understand because they’ve never been in my situation, or my husband’s.

I’ve become incredibly close to one woman in particular who has been my rock since we began “following” each other over 3 years ago.

 It’s always weird to know someone before you’ve ever met them, but technology can be an amazing and wonderful thing! I met her in person for the first time a little over a year ago when we first moved here to North Carolina and she quickly became my person. We have since laughed and cried together over so many things. We’ve watched each other’s kids grow up. We’ve listened to the other gripe and moan about our relationships and family and cleaning. We congratulated each other when we both became homeowners. I cried like a hardcore mom when I witnessed her walk across the stage and accept her degree (I still have the itinerary). I was there for her the best I could be when her husband deployed the first time and now that he’s just recently deployed again, with my husband to go shortly, we can support each other. She’s been a voice of reason when I feel irrational and she helps calm me down when my anxiety gets the best of me. She’s certainly not afraid to tell me to “reel it in”. We've called each other for our birthdays two years in a row to sing obnoxiously. She’s my motivator and I love her so, so dearly. 

To any spouses out there who have a difficult time making friends with other spouses, I highly suggest networking through the online community. You don’t have the responsibilities of meet-ups and play dates and coffees, you just add, like, and occasionally chitchat. This is how I’ve made a close and personal lifelong friend and have gotten to know many, many more that I’m sure I’ll meet some day.

Now then, I’m off to soak up the rest of the time I have with my husband and then I’ll start cranking out a ton of DIY projects I’ll be undertaking due to boredom!  

Just to list a couple:

*Building and upholstering a tufted headboard for the guest room.

*Upholstering the box spring for the guest room.

*Both the first and second thing, only for two new twin beds for the boys' room.

*Putting a pallet wall up in the boys’ room.

So stay tuned...